S1W31: “Revelations”

© 2012 Phylicia Joannis

The Congressman, the Old Woman and I huddled close together in the damp, dank tunnel.

I’d finally stopped crying, but only because I was dehydrated. My eyes ran out of tears. My fear was eventually replaced by a numbness in the pit of my stomach.

“We’re never getting out of here,” I whispered.

“Don’t talk like that,” the Congressman replied, but his words lacked conviction. I could tell he was only trying to make me feel better.

“God always has a plan,” the Old Woman told us reassuringly.

I stared at her in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? Is this God’s plan?”

I pointed to the black walls surrounding us. “We’re trapped in a tunnel with no way out! We don’t have any food, we don’t have any water, we don’t have any way to contact anyone, and even if we did, there’s no signal! This man needs a doctor!” I pointed to the Congressman. “The only person who can help him is on the other side of this wall, and who knows? They may be dead already!”

The fear returned, and I began to shake. The Congressman pulled me close and spoke to me in calming words. “Listen to me. So long as we’re breathing, there’s hope. If we give up hope, we’re dead.”

“We’re dead already,” I sobbed. The numbness gave way to an ache so deep I could hardly breathe.

“Oh, sweetie I didn’t mean to upset you,” the Old Woman apologized. “Listen, I know things aren’t looking too bright just now, but I know we’re going to get out of here alive. I can feel it in my spirit.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I sniffed. “Even if we do get out of here, I’ve got nowhere to go. Nobody’s looking for me.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true,” the Old Woman tried to comfort me. “Your parents must be worried sick about you.”

“My parents,” I smiled bitterly. “I don’t know who my parents are. All I know is that they never cared about me.”

“Why would you say that?” the Old Woman frowned.

Tears welled in my eyes and I quickly wiped them away, though in the dark I was sure they couldn’t see them.  “My mother had an abortion, but I didn’t die.”

“Oh my,” the Old Woman gasped.

I nodded, “Yeah, it’s pretty horrible, right? She spent a few days at the clinic to recover after she had the procedure done. They had already taken me out of her womb before they realized the procedure had failed. Because of state and federal laws, they couldn’t euthanize me. So while my mother was recovering they were trying to figure out what to do with me.”

“That’s terrible,” the Congressman frowned.

“I’m so sorry,” the Old Woman sniffed.

I tried to smiled. “With a name like Ray of Hope you’d think the clinic would have seen it coming, right? Anyway, the irony was lost on my mother. She gave up her rights to me, and I became a ward of the state. My caseworker told me how I was born, and where, but what I’ve told you is pretty much all I know.”

I noticed the Congressman trembling and turned to look at him. Even in the dark, I could tell he was crying.

“I thought your parents died,” the Congressman’s voice sounded strange.

“I’m sorry for lying…again,” I swiped at the tears on my face. “I didn’t want you to know how messed up I was. I mean, my own mother tried to kill me. You don’t get much more screwed up than that.”

“I’m sorry too,” the Congressman pulled me into an embrace. “I’m sorry for everything you had to go through.”

I shook my head, crying. “It’s okay. It’s not like it’s your fault.”

The Congressman grew still and I looked up at him. For a moment, I wondered if he was about to have another seizure.

“What’s wrong?” The Old Woman noticed too.

The Congressman looked at me with so much pain in his eyes I turned away, wishing I’d never brought up my story. I didn’t expect it to affect him this way. Maybe it reminded him of the child his mistress…

Realization wrapped its cold fingers around me and I looked the Congressman in his eyes, shaking my head.

“No,” I gasped.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

“Yes.”