Contemplations by Phylicia

excerpt

Max looks at Martin, waiting to see what he wants to do next. Martin pulls out the knife he brought with him and looks at it. Max looks at the knife, too, and then looks nervously at Martin.

“This is it.”

Martin’s hand trembles as he feels a sudden panic. He closes his eyes and thinks of the embarrassment Johnny has already put him through. His parents are ashamed of him. Why else would they have sent him away? He has to spend the rest of the week with a man he despises, listening to him harp over and over about the same things.

All because of Johnny.

Martin shakes his head, resolute. This is what he wants to do. He'll make Johnny suffer. Martin grimaces and fingers the knife. His hands tingle and his anger rises to the boiling point. He welcomes the rush of adrenaline that follows.

“I'll kill him.”

Facing your fears:

Sometimes our fear of success is greater than our fear of failure. What do I do if I make it? What will I become? How will I maintain my success? How will I process the rejection that comes afterwards?

These questions can haunt you until you intentionally sabotage yourself to avoid them. But you have to face them, you have to keep pressing. Keep moving forward, and don't be afraid of the future.